It was not so bad. I am just telling about it cause some people think I am crazy, and tho it might be true, it was pretty damn interesting. So I went to the gym per usual this morning, my workout pal thought I was crazy, but I did not think I should act any different even though I was going to get a mass from my breast removed at 7:30 that morning. I headed into the Surgical Center and somehow forgot my wallet so the woman at the desk was quite annoyed that I had neither a photo ID nr an insurance card. I asked if I had to reschedule and she said no. Okay, well I hung up my jacket and grabbed a magaizine, all they had was Golf or Parenting magazines, neither of which interest me in the least. I called my mom and told her I was fine and she asked for the 300th time if I wanted her there and I said no, it’s fine, I’ll be out of here in no time and I will head to your place.
I was called in right away and got led into a room and they asked me the usual questions and actually the 4 different nurses I dealt with were perfectly lovely. I got all my vitals which were tip top by the by, rockin blood pressure, 100% blood oxygenization, which made me promise myself I would stop sneakin cigarettes, and normal everything else. That, as a bit of a neurotic self diagnoser, always makes me so happy. I got to watch some TV and have heated blankets. I kept telling them that I did not want anesthsia, that I could handle the local. They kept telling me that it is okay if I change my mind… and I was bound and determined to be awake for this, in fact I wanted to ask the Doc if I could watch. Finally got in there, it was freezing, more really nice nurses, they uncovered my chest and put a bunch of stuff on that was freezing cold, they taped off the area then put up a “tent” so I could not watch, they said they did not want my breath to contaminate anything. Geez, I did brush this morning, but possibly a good thing. The local numbing was painful but not very, then I was waiting for them to tell me that they were starting when the Doc said they were almost done. I could feel them pulling things and some odd pressure but really it was not bad, apparently my vitals did not change at all during the whole thing. I aksed if I could look at the “mass” and it was sick as hell. It was about the size of a quarter. I wanted to keep it, maybe dry it out and hang it from a necklace, but they had to send it somewhere to make sure it was not all full of bad stuff.
They brought me back to my recovery room, in a chair, it was like I was on Scrubs er something, and once there they brought me coffee and cranberry juice and some graham crackers. I also had a vacuum like tube that was blowing hot air on me that I rested on my belly under my blanket and it was super toasty. I watched some bad reality TV and dozed off. About 20 minutes later I was wondering why I was still there, I want to go home now. They kept coming in but said that I needed to recover, really I was fine and I wanted to go, and I thought that I was already fully recovered. They I dozed off again, had another graham cracker and now I had to go to the bathroom, being I had a few tasty beverages and what not, so I rang the bell. I felt a little wierd doing that but I did feel like this was an appropriate use of the nurse bell. The nurse came in and let me put my pants on, cause not only was it like 60 degrees in there, I am not a big fan of walking down a hall with me bum out for God and everyone to see. The nurse then walked me to the bathroom, for a second I thought she was going to come in with me but she said she would wait outside, thanks, I said.
Got back in the room and she said, okay we’ll be back to check on you, and I’m like, really I am good to go, I really am. Went thru some more paperwork and the directions of care and they asked if I wanted some Vallium, HELL YEAH, I’ll just keep that around. SO she finally let me get dressed and then I walked out and she gave me a carnation, how sweet, and escorted me out to the lobby.
Not too bad all in all except now the local is wearing off and my tata is throbbing!!!!! I hope it is atleast a bitchin scar. One that makes me more scary then I already am. One that make chicks gasp and dudes wonder. I could think up a story of a bar fight where a jealous crazy woman thought I was makin for her man came out of the bathroom and shivved me! Something of that nature, only you know the truth. I gotta go pick up some pain pills yo, that will be lovely too.